<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Flashbacks of the Past by soulevans</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275497">Flashbacks of the Past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulevans/pseuds/soulevans'>soulevans</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Feels, F/M, Flashbacks, Heartache, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Unrequited Crush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:00:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,397</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulevans/pseuds/soulevans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua has been in love with his best friend but he knows that his best friend is in love with someone else, even though he knows this he can’t help but imagine what could’ve been and what happened between them once upon a time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gon Freecs &amp; Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck (past), Gon Freecs/Retz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Flashbacks of the Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This piece of writing was inspired by the song Heather by Conan Gray it just came to mind and I had to set on writing it. So anyways enjoy! If you want you can hear the song while reading if but it’s not necessary! Anyways I appreciate if you read this and comment! It helps me know you enjoy my works! I’ve decided to start writing again and yeah I hope you all enjoy my works! Much love and hugs. - Soul 🎶💞</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything stood still as Killua looked at the pencil in his hand, he could hear a faint voice in the back of his mind as he didn’t pay much attention his attention focused on the male in front of the class as he was laughing with a girl. A girl he knew too well that his best friend had fallen for. It wasn’t any secret as they could often be seen around the halls with Gon having a blush painted to his cheeks and the perfect blonde girl smiling and beaming at him as she made him blush once again. If had been everything Killua feared, he knew that Gon could make new friends but it still hurt. They had been childhood friends, they had done everything together, they had been each other’s firsts in a lot. First kiss, first relationship, it had felt so wrong when Gon had left him insisting he wasn’t ready for a relationship and just wanted to stay friends. It had hurt the white haired male but he understood. He had accepted to be friends still, after all it wasn’t serious right? They had only been in middle school at the time. But now they were in their senior year. They had gotten closer than ever if that were even possible but it all changed when a new girl came to the school, Killua would’ve never suspected that Gon would become infatuated with this girl. But even if Killua tried to despise her he couldn’t.. Retz was everything sweet. She was talented, intelligent, and well she was like Gon. She was everything that he wasn’t. She was an angel in pretty much everyone’s eyes even in his best friends eyes. Sighing to himself he peels his eyes away before returning to his book, he couldn’t think about this right now. Just focusing on the books and to himself he manages to hear footsteps approach his seat as he looks up, his icy blue eyes taking in the figure of a petite figure, her skirt smooth as he looks up seeing something that catches his attention. That sweater.. that sweater he used to wear. The one which Gon would always allow him to wear. The one that had been once so comforting to him. The polyester sweater which he had loved hell he still loved it. Dragging his attention to her turquoise eyes that hold so much kindness, he grimaces as he hears her sweet voice,</p><p>“Hey Killua! Gon asked if you wanted to join us for lunch later!”</p><p>Killua could swear he wanted to just jump out of seat but instead he stayed grounded to his seat as he shrugged, not giving her an answer as he tried his best to smile instead came out a feeble excuse to a smile.</p><p>“Umm.. I don’t know Retz. I wouldn’t want to intrude-“</p><p>He was cut off before he could finish by the perfect girl as she smiled gently at him putting a hand on his shoulder,</p><p>“Oh it’s no bother! We both want you there! Plus I wouldn’t mind getting to know my boyfriends best friend!”</p><p>The words stung him as they echoed in his ears. Boyfriend? Had they... it did make sense but he had just figured that Gon wouldn’t act on his crush as he had always been quite timid when it came to these things. He tried to reply but instead he grabbed his things packing up quickly as he muttered something,</p><p>“No. No thank you.”</p><p>Once he was done packing the bell ring signifying the end of class as he ran out of the classroom. He couldn’t look at the blonde or at gon at the moment, it hurt too much. Especially since he still ached for the affection he couldn’t have. Did it not matter? Could Gon not see that he still felt something? Killua knew it was probably selfish but he couldn’t help it when the one he wanted was in love with another. It hurt as he ran for the bathroom, he needed to hide. He needed to just cry. He just wanted to disappear, heartbreak was always hard to deal with but it was extremely hard to deal with when it came to anything to do with Gon. Once he had made it to the bathroom he locked himself in a stall as he slides down the door, tears falling freely as he covered his face with his arms his knees tucked to his chest. He didn’t care if anyone heard him he just needed to let loose. Everything had been bottled up for so long. Everything haunted him. Memories came flashing back to him as he cried even harder. The first one that came to mind was from their junior year, it was the third of December. They had been hanging inside watching movies as Killua was wrapped in Gon’s sweater Ging and Kite were out on a date as they had left them alone, Killua was tangled in Gon’s arms as they shared gentle kisses as Gon pulled away smiling at the sight,</p><p>“Hey you know what? That sweater looks better on you than it does on me. You should keep it..”</p><p>There was a dark shade of crimson that danced on his cheeks as killua smiled and cocked his head to the side,</p><p>“You sure? I don’t want to-“</p><p>“No I mean it! Just keep it! I’m sure I’ll see you in a lot!”</p><p>The flashback ended as Killua looked at his sweater, it wasn’t his. It wasn’t Gin’s comforting sweater.. it was his. It had hurt when Gon had asked for it back but he hadn’t had the strength to argue and instead returned it only for it to be given to Retz a year later. He had wished every single day that there was hope for him and Gon but now that didn’t seem likely. The second flashback came to him as he remembered how they had their first kiss, back to sixth grade, it was the winter dance and well someone had planted a mistletoe in the entrance. Gon had looked at it pointing it out as he smiled at Killua,</p><p>“You know what they say about those right?”</p><p>Killua looked up at where he had pointed his face turning a crimson color as he glared at the other jagging his finger into his chest, </p><p>“Oh shut up! Stop being emb-“</p><p>Before Killua could finish his thought Gon had pulled him close kissing him gently as Killua gave into the gentle and affectionate kiss. That was the day they had confessed to one another initiating the start of a relationship, a relationship that Killua still wanted and longed for. Just like it had come the memory vanished as Killua couldn’t stop crying, the dam that held his emotions in check had broken as he spoke softly to himself,</p><p>“I wish I were her.. I wish I were Retz..”</p><p>Sighing gently to himself he tried his best to compose himself as he couldn’t be seen like this but then he heard footsteps rush into the bathroom as Killua froze in his spit when he heard a voice, a voice he could always pick out from any crowd no matter how big it was. </p><p>“Kill? Are you in here? Retz said she saw you run in here! Kill?! Please.. answer me..”</p><p>Kills could hear the desperation in his voice as he stepped out of the stall looking at the other, no one was in the bathroom as they stood there alone, together. </p><p>“What? What do you.. what?”</p><p>The words cracked in his throat as Gon walked over to him slowly, his face filled with worry as he tried to hug the other only for Killua to step aside as he sighed,</p><p>“No.. please don’t. I have to go Gon. Go back to Retz I’ll be fine. I promise.”</p><p>Gon look unconvinced at his words but he knew better than to push Killua he muttered a quick sorry as he left the bathroom leaving Killua with his own thoughts as he whispered,</p><p>“I’m sorry..”</p><p>With that he left the bathroom as he headed to his next class, he didn’t care if he was late, it didn’t matter. All that mattered to him knowing that gon was happy. That’s all that mattered right? Yes. That’s all.. even if his happiness wasn’t with him.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>